So here’s me.
48 hours ago, I was bravely surviving on liquids like some kind of spiritual detox influencer. Except this wasn’t wellness—this was post-endoplasty with one band installed. 🫠
The doctor said:
“Liquid diet for 48 hours.”
Me: Fine. I am strong. I am resilient. I am basically soup now.
Then came the magical words:
“You can now start semi-liquids.”
And suddenly I felt like I’d been upgraded from Economy to Premium Economy. Not business class. Relax.
Naturally, my brain said:
“Keema matar?” 😍
My body said:
“Sir. You have a band in your esophagus. Please behave.”
Because apparently, semi-liquid does NOT mean:
- Chunky minced meat
- Peas with attitude
- Full masala Bollywood drama
It means:
- Smooth.
- Soft.
- Emotionally stable food.
Keema matar right now would be less “comfort food” and more “why are you like this?”
What My Life Looks Like Now
I’ve entered my:
- Moong dal era
- Thin khichdi phase
- Blended soup personality
- Mashed potato main character arc
Everything must:
- Glide.
- Not fight back.
- Not require chewing like it’s a jaw workout challenge.
Even curd has to be “not too sour.”
Even buttermilk must behave.
Even oats have to humble themselves.
Things I’m Avoiding Like Ex Texts
- Spicy gravies
- Fried food
- Chunky meat
- Citrus
- Anything that says “let’s test this band.”
Because right now, the goal is healing — not auditioning for “India’s Got Swallowing Problems.”
Conclusion
Am I dreaming about keema matar? Yes.
Am I going to eat it? Not unless I want my doctor to personally unfollow me.
For now, I am one with Dal.
I am spiritually aligned with khichdi.
I respect the band.
And one day… we shall reunite, dear Keema.
But today is not that day. 😌
***Keema Matar – Succulent spiced minced meat slow-simmered with sweet green peas in a rich, aromatic masala that melts in your mouth and leaves you craving the next bite. 🔥🍽️
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